The Zoo
by darkland
Summary: After settling down in Melbourne, Australia ,John decides it's time to introduce Aeryn to some of Earth's greatest animals at the Zoo however even before they get there the adventure already starts. It's going to be one of those random days!


"Come on." John said impatiently standing by his car while waiting for Aeryn, who was still inside the house getting ready.

"I know the Zoo isn't going anywhere, Hun, but seriously? How long does it take to put on a dress? Should have just worn your peace keeper outfit. Would have saved a lot of time on the waiting and the excessive sun being burned into my skin." John called out. Aeryn had just walked out wearing a large trench coat and green baggy jeans. John's curiosity of his wife's choice of clothing on this hot summer day in Melbourne, their new home, rang to his brain.

Aeryn walked over toward him and smiled. "I'm ready sweetheart! Do I look glamorous?"

She twirls around , half of her coat hitting Joan in the crutch sending him to immediately to bend down and clasp his knees. The force of the coat hitting his area knocked the wind out of the man. His face turning bright red as he gasped for breathe.

"Watch it!" John cried out in pain. "That thing is heavy."

"What's wrong?" Aeryn asked, oblivious to the fact that John was nearly doubled over in pain. "Do you need me to kiss it all better?"

Strangely enough, that would have been exactly John's first thought if he wasn't in a pain. "No I'm in enough pain as it is. Let's just go."

As he rose back to the standing position he watched Aeryn as she opened the car door and turned back to strike a smiling pose.

"Admit it John, you're a lady. Man up, It's just a penis. Not going to drop off anytime soon just because I hit it." Aeryn smiled. "I can't wait to see how the animals at the zoo compare to the male species of this planet. Something tells me they're going to be quite a surprise."

John just stood there, watching his wife, amazed by her complete innocence and oblivious about the human body organs.

He walked over to his side of the car and climbed into the drivers seat.

A while later, they were in the car on a major freeway heading toward Melbourne Zoo. At every traffic light, Aeryn kept grabbing John's leg with her nails and then beeping the horn and screaming out at other motorists.

John couldn't help smile as his wife was screaming out Sebaccian obscenities. She didn't care that people were giving her looks, all she had to do was give them a finger and they'd give it to her back. As the traffic continued to pile on the freeway, Aeryn started to settle down. She took out her Milk from the packed bag and started drinking it.

John gawked at her. "You're drinking milk? We had Coke, and water in the fridge, and you decided to drink milk? In the a middle of a 35 degree summer day!? Are you nuts babe?"

"Milk makes me warm and fuzzy. This dren is FRELLING great! It's like it has the power to give me strength to do anything!" Aeryn giggled. She watched her husband gawk at her. "Oh come on John, this is new, this is wild! This is milk! I can't believe you don't like it!"

"Yeah, I hate milk. Still you're going to regret it later. Trust me, you'll be begging me to hide the stuff. That stuff is healthy but dangerously lethal when drank incorrectly." John smiled as he kept the eye out on the traffic. He noticed a child poking his tongue out at them. The eight year old kid in the car in front of John and Aeryn's car smiled at him innocently and then put up the two rude fingers.

John smiled. "Unbelievable."

Aeryn screamed when she saw what the kid was doing. "We have to destroy him now! He's going to kill us! We have to find some sort of weapon to destroy him!"

John saw the panic in Aeryn's eyes and gently put his hands on her knee, keeping his eye out on the kid. Who's face had dropped the smile and was just gawking at Aeryn, probably quite confused by Aeryn's reaction to his unacceptable human gesture.

Aeryn was breathing in heavily and hard.

"Just relax Aeryn. Okay, it's just a rude gesture. The only thing dangerous about that here is if you do it to a kangaroo, you may have found a mate for life. It's just a gesture, okay? Nothing more." John looked at her and she looked back at him.

They had been in Melbourne for six weeks and John and Aeryn had both had to adjust to the awkwardness of not being in the United States of America. Well for one thing - John had to get used to driving on the left hand side of the road , second Aeryn was quite displeased with the way the people in the city walked. Quite frankly they were not walking up to her standards. Aeryn noticed that the people in this city had a more of relaxed attitude when it came to walking and driving, unlike in the US where road rage was every day, the people here seemed to be quite peaceful and relaxful. Aeryn thought that was strange. For a major city, it's inhabitants lacked the walking skills and perhaps communication skills in order to function. She prayed at night thanking the almighty stars that they had lived in Kansas for a while.

Aeryn also hated their accents. She couldn't understand them. And what was with the greeting. She wasn't their mate. How rude of them to dare think that she would do them. John wouldn't like that and she told them that.

As the traffic slowly broke away, John put his foot on the accelerator and the car moved slowly.

"Honey bunny, I am not feeling so well." Aeryn said all of a sudden. Her stomach didn't sit right and she felt like she was going to burp.

"I told you!" John laughed. "It's the milk. Told you to be careful how you drink that!"

"I feel very bloated. Like one of those moo cows that you were telling me about, that produces this fine white stuff." Aeryn said as she leaned forward.

John couldn't help but laugh. His wife's quirks on earth, was his greatest joy. But he loved her for it. "Just hold on, we'll be in the zoo in fifteen minutes. And yeah, the cow is what you mean. You drink cow stuff, you'll end up feeling like one. One of the most heinous side affects to man and lady kind."

"And how does this not affect children?" Aeryn asked as she grabbed her stomach. "I need to go to the toilet."

"Because they're idiots." John joked. "Seriously, Aeryn, are you okay? Maybe you're allergic to this stuff….exactly how much glasses have u had today?"

Aeryn looked at him with a smile. "18."

"No wonder!" John exclaimed, a shocked disbelief appearing on his face. "I'm surprised your not carrying a cow in that stomach!"

"No, John. - I mean 18 cartons. In about three hours since I woke." Aeryn said as she grimaced as her insides were doing the horizontal monster mash. "Milk companies have to put warning labels on this stuff!"

John desperately wanted to the turn car around and go and turn into a street with a round-a-bout , so he could make his wife feel more violently ill then she was now. He smiled at the thought, then he thought about his car. Ryona. The electrifying Holden VN he had purchased a month after he arrived. He loved the car, it was easy to drive, nice and roomy. Definetly loved the leather seats. He needed to protect her from Aeryn's violent throwing up. So the best cause of action was continuing on to drive to the Zoo.


End file.
